Chalenging Situations

     I think for a lot of people (I know especially for me). We have a tendency to get so rapped up in our own lives that even when we think we are doing the right things we put the blinders on so to speak. A war can be brewing right next to us and we don't even recognize it. This war can even be brewing inside our own homes and we are completely and entirely oblivious to it.

      Satan has all kinds of ways of attacking us when we least expect it. He dose this to attempt to catch us off guard so to speak. Yes this could even be in the church, home, workplace or any ware ells that we wouldn't necessarily expect an attack. Yet again we find ourselves in the middle of a warzone.

     This happened to me one dreadful night my father and I had been working all day I had been out of the house from 7 in the morning till 9 that night. Little did I know what was awaiting my arrival at home that night, Needless to say when I did finally arrive home that night there was an explosion so to speak that night. No not because I had done anything wrong per say.

     Needles to say God would use this explosion over the next year and a half or so to teach me a few lessons. That as of late led to share with all of you so that you may be able to avoid all of the mess, pain, and anguish this kind of brings along with it and that is why I am writing this.

     Now that is all out of the way I would like to start by saying God is great. The lessons that he has imparted over me in the last while are invaluable.

     We'll start with manipulation, by definition manipulation is an attempt to control of another persons life. There are many forms of manipulation. The simplest of these forms and most common is the guilt trip. Basically using guilt to get some one ells to do what you want them to do. The use of this is against what you want them to do. The use of this is against what God has asked us to do he told us to love our neighbors guilt in itself hams someone and can not be considered an act of love. It is disrespectful and as such is the opposite of love.

     We often times are faced with challenging things it is how we deal with those things that ultimately defines us. Everyone says that most marital problems derive from money. While this might be true for some it is important to remember that this is not the only danger in a marriage. Problems can often times derive from hidden places. Places we don't often look. It is easy to ignore these places for one spouse or the other. Remember that there are two people there and while the actions or inactions of one may not seem to be a problem for that one the other may very well see it in a very different light. We all have a tendency to look through our own set of glasses so to speak. It is often hard to look through the glasses of another. This is also true for any relationship not just those that are married. The old saying "walk a mile in their shoes" comes to mind.

     Now husbands, there is also some tricky business here as well There will be times that your wife comes to you and she is flat irate not necessarily with you but she just needs to vent. It is often times all to easy for us husbands to jump in and try to "fix it". It is just the way we are wired. Not to say that there wont be times when that is necessary but some times our wives just need to talk it through so that they can work it out in their minds.

     When dealing with an argument and or a verbal battle as so often it turns into it is extremely important no matter how upset you may be to keep your wits about you and not respond in anger. When we respond in anger we have an uncanny ability to say things really don't mean but all too often hurtful things that can not seem to be taken back. Remember words can be seen as stones and Jesus himself said "He who is without sin may cast the first stone". Fact is we are all sinners and no one other than God and Jesus are without sin.

The engagement!!!!

      Congratulations,... you have made the first step toward the rest of your lives. Now remember how you felt when he/she asked you to marry them and when the person being asked said yes. That excitement will carry you through all of the potential hardships that could arise during the planning proses. For some these things may never happen for some making these plans will go smooth as butter, Although for others planning a wedding can ultimately destroy a hole bunch of relationships at once.

     Remember when you are getting ready to get married you are not only marrying your future spouse you are marrying their entire family as well. Marriage is a union of two people into one and should be looked upon as that. With doing this it can potentially spell disaster for anyone and everyone involved. Now that is not to say that this issue will be there for everyone.

     You and your spouse need to remember as you guys are planning this that this is YOUR day, and that no one should influence you to change or modify your wonderful day to benefit them. Weather that be as simple as the date of the wedding or the food served at the reception. Make the plans and those that it is important to be there for you will be. Changing plans, moving the date will only cause heart ach later and while the date may not seem like much now it will later and will only cause resentment in one or the others heart. This inadvertently will also show you who your real friends are and who could potentially be your future worst nightmare.

     I know with my wedding my mother in-law decided to start pushing us to move the date up while we stood our ground for a long time we eventually caved and moved the date changed who would be allowed to come and so on. This also meant that most of my family was not able to attend even though most of them had already made the appropriate arrangements to be there for the original date, and even though we had said immediate family only they proceeded to bring all of their friends as well. Like I said resentment. Not for my wife but for my mother in-law thus causing our first issue to not be so easy to resolve. Thus the reason I am now writing this blog. You see over the last 2 years or so God has been gracias enough to teach me a few lessons that I feel led to share with others so that maybe just maybe they do not suffer the same fate and maybe they might see the warning signs much sooner than I.